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    September 20

    回眸

    忙里偷闲,追忆下最近几个月的日子~
    现在感觉MSN空间很好,成为我的发泄桶...大概是浏览的人比较少,找到一个写写自己事情的净土。
    这几个月的经历,让我明白了什么对于我来说是最重要的,其他的,都不重要。当我得到第一个实习机会的时候,我曾经努力付出,当我失去我的第一个客户的时候,我知道什么叫现实,知道什么叫做小公司的不稳定性,知道我处于一个随时面临失业的状况。每次倍受打击之后我清醒的认识到自己身上还有那么多不足之处,于是,我离开了。借着一阵顺风,经过几轮角逐,经过最后一关2个小时不到的日语口语PK,我说服了那个日本人,进了一家憧憬已久的大公司,体验了朝九晚五的辛苦,明白原来工作是一件如此辛苦又无奈的事情。之后开始对比,开始反思,于是我决定,我要趁着年轻出去留学,不满足自己现在的状态,希望有一天达到这样一个状态,追求那种我渴望过上的日子。此刻,我认为我很庆幸,暑假的几个月时间我打到了我的目的,经历了实习也找到了目标,但是好景不长,家里发生的意外事情打乱了我所有的计划和行程。奔波了20天,徘徊在上海长春北京家这几个城市,让我没有时间下来休息加思考。突然间反思自己这几个月,把日子过成这个样子,没有时间回家,没有时间陪父母,我是个不孝的孩子...在爷爷生病最危急的时间,我停止了一切的工作和生活,义无反顾的奔回去,开始反省自己之前的种种...记得曾经大一的时候,一个大四的姐姐告诉我,她大学四年学到的一点比较重要的事情是不要患得患失,我当时心里在想,那岂不做任何事情都失去了激情?!现在想想那真是一种崇高的境界,可以坦然的面对一切,工作也是,物质的生活也是。也许是悲观的面对世界面对这个社会,但是现在就想追求这样的境界,一切随缘吧。我现在能做的也只想做的,珍惜眼前的大学时光,做一个孝顺的女儿!
    这周,我把所有事情做了了断:辞了工作,结束了一段感情,处理了房子,回到久违的校园。没有时间回头,就这样吧。一切随缘~
    十一,回家!

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